I've been motivated to pick up writing this blog after being inspired by a song and wanting to be honest with myself. See I have a realistic point of view on the world because I've had lows. No bullshit. I am not here to overestimate your good qualities, tell you that you have control over every happening in your life or give you an unrealistic portrayal of optimism. This is dedicated to many imperfect beings that have somehow crossed paths with me. The many facets of their identity crisis' ended up contributing to and shaping mine.
Inspiration can come about in different ways in your life. Good or bad.. whatever it is: a muse, an artist, anger, connection, spirit, a cause, ignorance, pain, loss, lack of empathy, misunderstanding, not fitting in, God, lack of resource, a person in power, a mistake, a failed manipulation, a ruined reputation, etc. know that it happens for a reason. There is a resilient part of you that got up another day to face a challenge in the world or within yourself.
We all know that in a moment, an interaction can turn from blissful to a pissed off deranged waste of time. The point is, we live in a social environment so, you have to know what you appreciate and what triggers you. Journal, decompress, get to know yourself. With that, be responsible to process the information you figure out about yourself because the thoughts you hold may affect the vision for your future. Also, you can never get wasted time back from dumb actions. Educate yourself on things you don't know and be honest about the things you can not figure out. Be present and meet yourself where you are. Aaliyah is quoted as saying, "I stay true to myself and my style, and I am always pushing myself to be aware of that and be original". Her unique style and music will always be remembered because of the presence she gave to it.
Get rid of maladaptive schemas or any belief that you aren't good enough. In order to keep negativity from taking over, you have to know the opposite of it. Contribute to your happiest moments. Take care of you by nurturing yourself (don't expect anyone else to). Oh, and whatever negatively triggers you, be cognizant of it since sometimes we can display these behaviors as a mirror of our worst parts. Treat others how you want to be treated and in that, you get to know yourself and what's important to you. When you do this, I believe relationships with purpose will be magnetized towards you. I love what Kehlani said about how she's evolved in regards to thinking about relationships, "I used to think that love was giving up everything of yourself and giving it to the other person. Now, I've realized that love is when you have somebody that doesn't make you give up half of yourself." Don't give up on yourself and you will find that people around you will not allow you to ever do that either. Remember..feel deeply, and surrender to your higher self.
Identity has to do with the self--The self has many facets such as self-awareness, self-esteem, self-knowledge, and self-perception. All parts come together to make you an individual--from your social network/cultural setting to the time you contribute to reading a book to the clothes you wear or wouldn't dare wear. It all motivates beliefs you have for yourself. Love where you come from but also leave room for modification to uplift yourself as necessary. As Lauryn Hill said, " Let me be patient, let me be kind, make me unselfish, without being blind."
Rising r&b singer, Ella Mai's song: Naked is really relevant here. Here are some of the lyrics you can read to yourself: There's nothing I want more in this world / Than somebody who loves me naked / Someone who never asks for love / But knows how to take it / Are you that somebody / Who sees a wall and breaks it / Are you ready to fight just to see what's lost behind my flaws / Can you love me naked?
So are you that somebody? Can you learn to love your vulnerable self? The naked you, break down that wall and forgive yourself for your mistakes? Take time to be a free spirit. You are only human and no one is perfect. The change we need in the world starts with you.